The Wreck of the Man They Call Donald

The legend lives on from Mar-a-Lago on down
Of the big boss who likes his suits roomy
They say that the boss never concedes a loss
When the polls of November turn gloomy
A huge orange boar weighed two-fifty pounds more
Than most presidents thought was healthy
That loose-haired tycoon was a pinpricked balloon
When the absentee ballots came early

He always had tried to boost American pride
No wonder he’d once won Wisconsin
His rallies, he told us, were bigger than most
No matter the time or the season
He’d served out one term and was still standing firm
When the first returns came in from Cleveland
But later that night when the mail-ins arrived
Could it be the blue shift they’d been feelin’?

The news on the wires said the rust belt was theirs
The red wave brought them a great feelin’
But every man knew, as the president did too
That the communist Dems would come stealin’
The dawn came late and the burgers had to wait
When the lawyers of the White House came suin’
When afternoon came it was perfectly plain
That Rudy knew what he was doin’