Election Diary: What Are Preferences Anyway?
There’s no doubt that in the upcoming Federal election, preferences will be vital. Not much doubt, anyway. I personally have only minor doubts that this is true, and certainly I don’t doubt the truth of the above assertion to the extent that I would investigate it to any intensive degree.
But just how do preferences work? The preference system can seem daunting to someone as dumb as you, but it’s really very simple, as long as you have it explained by someone as clever as me.
First of all, let’s start with the ballot paper:
As you can see, on the House of Representatives ballot paper, you need to place a number on each box to indicate the order in which you rank the candidates, or in other words, your “preference”! Wow, learned a lot already, right? Now, let’s see how these preferences work out.
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, you want to vote for Michael Keenan, because you approve of the systematic degradation of the poor and marginalised in our community. You would put a “1” in the box next to Keenan’s name. Easy!
But who is your second preference? Well, let’s say you’re a racist. You’d want to put Alex Patrick of One Nation second. And so you go on down the line, so eventually your preferences run like this:
- Keenan
- Patrick
- Hopkinson
- Hallam
- Ward
- Tinley
- Hynd
- Desiatov
Excellent. You’ve done well. But how is your vote counted? Well, first all the first preferences are counted, and whoever came last is taken out of the race. Let’s assume that in this case it is Keenan, because he was photographed entering a gay brothel the day before the election. Therefore your first preference doesn’t count — BUT your SECOND preference DOES. So your vote ends up going to Patrick.
But then Patrick is eliminated from the race — he’s come second last because he has poor impulse control and wouldn’t stop punching voters on the campaign trail. Well now your THIRD preference is counted, and your vote goes to Hopkinson of Family First.
But it doesn’t, because Hopkinson just pulled out of the race, having realised that pursuing a political career under the label “Family First” is a contradiction in terms. So your fourth preference is…oh no! Hallam just fell over a railing at the zoo and has been eaten by a maned wolf! So your fifth preference is now counted, but then the counters notice that you accidentally drew a picture of a vagina in the box instead of a “5”, and so your ballot is considered informal and your vote doesn’t count at all. What a sham it all was.
Well, that’s how the House of Representative preference system works, anyway: a grim farce of no practical consequence. But how about the Senate?
As you can see, the Senate ballot is bigger than the HoR ballot. This is constitutionally mandated. But it’s not just a matter of size: it’s how you use it. You’ll notice that the paper says, “You may vote in one of two ways”: angrily or calmly. You can also vote either above the line or below the line, depending on your own peculiar proclivities. And this makes a big difference to where your preferences go.
If you vote ABOVE THE LINE, your vote will be marked as “optimistic”, and your preferences will go to the various parties in order of most positive attitude to least positive.
If you vote BELOW THE LINE, your vote will be marked as “secretive”, and your preferences will be assigned based on what the AEC believes they would least expect.
There have been changes to the Senate voting system this year, which means that the results will be much more reflective of your intentions. This naturally means it will be less reflective of the intentions of other people who disagree with you, granting you a frankly disturbing level of unaccountable power. Is it right that the Senate voting system be designed specifically to cater to your personal whims? No, it is disgusting. Try to think less selfishly and maybe you might realise this yourself.
You bastard.
